The Wizards select Mickey Mouse in SB Nation NBA mock draft of Disney characters

Not long ago, SB Nation NBA’s 22 team sites, along with the network at large, created a mock draft of Disney characters. So today, I’ll share you whom I drafted for the Washington Wizards.

The rules for this draft were rather simple. First, the order of the teams was decided at random. Second, each of the site managers in the draft could only select a “Disney OG,” whom we would define as characters from the Mickey Mouse World, classic tales, the Princesses and Pixar. We could not select some of the acquired franchises like Star Wars characters, Marvel Comics, ESPN (well ... Stephen A. anyone?), ABC-TV (I loved watching Steve Urkel on “Family Matters”) and even Power Rangers was part of Disney at one point.

Here is the order of the draft, and you will see whom I drafted below:

As you can see, the Wizards were in the order to pick sixth. And I picked Mickey Mouse. Here’s why:

• This team is in desperate need of a sorcerer heading into Florida as the “cupcake” team of the field — Who else can be better than the OG of OG’s? Mickey by himself is a jack of all trades, like Bradley Beal is as a guard for Washington. Mickey can do everything on the court pretty well against smaller players. But I get it. He’s a mouse. That’s when his sorcerer hat (from Fantasia) comes in. Here, he can magically help his teammates in the post in the form of giving them a skill boost, or maybe he can magically grow himself!

• Mickey Mouse isn’t the most popular guy of the moment. He is still respected by everyone anyway — When I go in a Target or any Disney Store at a mall (before the coronavirus pandemic), the most popular characters are Elsa from Frozen, any princess like Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, etc. ... and even Marie from “Les Aristochats” seems to get more love than the dude with two circular ears and a falsetto voice! I get it, people like princess stories. People love cute cats. But I get it. Mickey is TOO cartoony. Hell, even the mice from “Cinderella” were more realistic. That said, you still can’t deny that you haven’t been to Disney when you haven’t bought a pair of MOUSE EARS!

• Like Elsa from the “Frozen” movies (Hi Chris Mullinax of Grizzly Bear Blues!), Mickey Mouse can speak Dutch (Goeiedag, Mevrouw Emma Meesseman!), French (Bonjour, Mademoiselle Meesseman et Monsieur Ian Mahinmi!) and Korean (안녕하세요, BLACKPINK and BTS fans!) like the best of them! Who needs singing to a bunch of kidsongs? Before Elsa wanted to “Let It Go” or Belle danced with the Beast (different movie I know), Mickey said whatever he wanted in any language from East to West with NO trouble at all!

• Mickey’s likability in the Disney world mirrors Bradley Beal’s in the NBA — If there’s a Disney character I think the Wizards’ best player is, it HAS to be Mickey. Brad isn’t the most popular NBA player overall, but he is liked by nearly everyone. After all, the players voted him into the 2020 NBA All-Star Game! I sorta think that Brad is the “Mickey” of the NBA now that I think about it.

• Finally, the Wizards need someone who punches above their weight — If all of these Disney characters were truly able to play basketball, I think the Wizards need someone who has the most staying power of them all. We may fall in love with a princess from time to time, we may love singing a song from a movie from time to time. And I’ll admit it. ESPN and Star Wars seem to have overtaken Mickey’s place in the “popularity order” as of today. But I’ll say that without Mickey’s popularity from back in the first half of the 20th Century, there is NO DISNEY, NO ABC, and NO ESPN as we know it. He is the OG of the OGs. Mickey will outlast the temporary starpower any princess, personified lions and subjects in the safari, housecats or dogs can ever have at any given moment.

If the Wizards want a Disney character who can beat them all, there is no one better than Mickey himself. I was surprised he fell down to sixth, but I was very happy to pick him in this hypothetical draft nevertheless.