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Ranking the Wizards based on the best anagram of their name

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13. John Wall = Wall John

It’s hard when your name is eight letters long.

12. Kelly Oubre = Key Our Bell

This just feels a little underdeveloped.

11. Jarell Eddie = Jailed Elder

Old man in prison? You know he was up to no good.

10. Trey Burke = Try Rebuke

NBA: Sacramento Kings at Utah Jazz Jeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports

“I did!” Quin Snyder said.

9. Ian Mahinmi = Him in Mania

There’s no I in team, but there is one in Ian and Mania. Coincidence? Let’s hope so.

8. Markieff Morris = Mr. Foam Friskier

No idea what Markieff is up to here under his pseudonym, but count me out.

7. Jason Smith = Sham Joints

Ice those knees every day after practice, Jason.

6. Bradley Beal = Brad Eyeball

We should just change his name to this right now.

5. Andrew Nicholson = Nanosecond Whirl

Cleveland Cavaliers v Orlando Magic Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

A nanosecond whirl sounds like an effective post move. He should try it this season. You know Kevin Love wouldn’t be ready for it.

4. Tomas Satoransky = Toasty Arson Mask

No idea what a toasty arson mask is, but let’s keep Tomas away from anything flammable until we find out.

3. Marcus Thornton = Trust Nacho Norm

Never count out Nacho Norm. Never.

2. Otto Porter = Tot Trooper

This sounds about right.

1. Marcin Gortat = Acting Mortar

Of course he got the name that sounds like an explosive. He’s probably thrilled.