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Marcin Gortat has a giraffe and two horses. We have some questions.

Whenever life gets too confusing and I need something to help my life make sense, I always go to Marcin Gortat’s Instagram page, and he never disappoints. His post on Saturday morning is the latest example:

From what we can tell, the giraffe is not actually his, it’s the giraffe at the Warsaw Zoo that’s named after him. But the horses do appear to be his, and he’s set up an Instagram page for his stable.

Needless to say, we have some questions:

  • Did he consider naming the horses Pick & Roll?
  • Gortat is saddled with more responsibility now. Can he rein it all in?
  • Can seven-footers ride a horse? Asking for a friend.
  • When he greets his horses in the morning, does he go “Hey there, NEIGHbor?”
  • Can seven-footers ride a giraffe? Also asking for a friend.
  • When Scott Brooks asks Marcin Gortat what he did this summer, is he going to say “Oh, I was just horsin’ around”?
  • Has Gortat ever thought about dunking on the giraffe? You know, just to say he did it.
  • What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race? A long shot.
  • Will Gortat’s new horses stirrup some new emotion in Gortat next season?
  • With all the roster turnover from last season, is Gortat just looking for something stable in his life?
  • Will he be able to contain his unbridled enthusiasm?