Mystics at Storm final score: Washington delivers an embarrassing 80-51 loss

This is by far the most embarrassing loss I’ve seen this year from the Mystics after an 80-51 loss to the Storm.

Quite honestly, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAW!

Earlier, I wrote this fearful rambling thought/rant before the game. I’m sorry if it was disconnected. But as humans, we all think many things at the same time. Our thoughts are never that logical. So you can think of this as a brain dump of fears I’ve had for a long time about this team.

Despite my brain dump, I at least hoped that the Mystics would put up an effort. The Mystics are better coached than most, so I expected to see that.

But today, you saw what superstar power can do to a team with much less talent and how bad things can look when they were heads weren’t in it.

The Mystics DIDN’T SHOW UP!

Even when the Mystics lose games, you can still make the case that they worked harder than their opponents, but talent is what prevented them from winning.

Today, they didn’t bother. Because they didn’t show up, they really could have just flew back from Phoenix last Wednesday. They probably should have.

Why? Washington let Seattle get fired up very early and give former franchise star Lauren Jackson an unforgettable “Welcome Home” party which will be the general narrative that you’ll read anywhere outside of this site.

So what if the WNBA is on Seattle’s side? And so what if Lauren Jackson is there? Just play physical ball, and outwork the Storm! Even if this is the last game of a long road trip!

THEY BEAT THEM EARLIER THIS SEASON TOO WHICH MAKES IT THAT MUCH MORE FRUSTRATING!

But no..... The starting lineup was lethargic and that set up the bloodbath from the get go.

The Mystics allowed Storm guard Jewell Loyd to score 18 points on 6 of 8 shooting in the first half, 14 of them in the first quarter. In addition, they also committed untimely turnovers and shot just 14.3 percent in the second quarter. The Storm only shot 5 of 16 (31.3 percent), but they still scored 15 points. Washington only scored 8 in that period.

And if they were surprised, the Mystics really stopped trying in the third quarter

If you think I’m harsh on Washington, any hope of them catching up in the third quarter went away when the Storm shot 11 of 16 in this period with these plays that got their play by play announcer Dick Fain to get REALLY EXCITED!

Since you know I am an objective fan of these plays, here’s another angle:

Anything else I have to add is unprintable. But thank you Dick Fain for implicitly telling me when I should Vine something! The plays were very great to watch, but I’m just not happy that they all came at the expense of Washington.

HOW THE HELL DOES STEFANIE DOLSON GET TO SHOOT MORE THAN EMMA MEESSEMAN IN THE FIRST HALF!?

Meesseman led all Mystics scorers with seven points in the first half. She made three of five shots and had six rebounds. Stefanie Dolson had 11 shot attempts, and missed eight of them. I wouldn’t complain too much if Dolson had five or six offensive rebounds in the second quarter, but she shot 0 for 5 in 6 minutes and 30 seconds of action.

Meesseman only attempted one three in the exact same amount of time. Something’s wrong when you allow Dolson to get more shots than Meesseman when she’s missing shots like that. You can yell at Dolson for missing the shots. But Meesseman wasn’t doing anything to put more matters into her own hands.

Meesseman dropped numbers today, but she didn’t show up either

Sure, Meesseman had a double double with 16 points and 10 rebounds. But look at what I mentioned in the first half.

There’s no excuse for a player to allow Dolson to go 3 of 11 in the first half when it should have been her shooting instead, one way or another. Meesseman made NO EFFORT TO CARRY THE TEAM — even if it meant shooting much worse than 7 of 11 from the field.

If carrying a team means being selfish, fine. This was a game when Meesseman could have done something to crash a party that Storm fans and WNBA fans in general were looking forward to.

But instead, she ended up being another casualty of the dumpster fire I had to see.

The Mystics might as well have played five posts tonight

Meesseman put up numbers, so she at least put up a lethargic effort. But the guards....

What the hell is this?

NINE COMBINED POINTS ALL GAME FROM THE ENTIRE BACKCOURT?!!!!

So you know a breakdown, Tayler Hill and Natasha Cloud scored a total of three points (all by Hill) in the first half. Even after Ivory Latta started for Cloud in the third quarter, she only scored three points. Bria Hartley played toward the end and added three more points, but not enough to make any impact.

The guards should be ashamed for what I had to see. Seeing Jewell Loyd score 14 points in the first quart is part of it. BUT 35 YEAR OLD SUE BIRD ALSO STARTED GOING OFF IN THE THIRD QUARTER! SHE HAD MORE SPRING IN HER STEP THAN ALL OF THE MYSTICS’ GUARDS COMBINED!

Yeah, I’m still mad. Very mad.

TL;dr version

The Seattle Storm had a big night today with a former franchise star returning, and played as hyped up as they have all season to ensure that they had a great performance. The WNBA also is probably pleased to see that the storylines played out “just right” for their narrative -- something to the effect of “Jewell Loyd & Breanna Stewart and Sue Bird has a vintage performance in a perfect tribute to Lauren Jackson.”

It’s one thing for the Mystics to lose a game. But these kinds of losses are unacceptable. It’s going to be a looooooooooooooong few days before next Wednesday when they host the New York Liberty.

If you’re asking me about Keys to the Palace and where the Mystics stand with the playoffs in the not too distant future, here’s my response: