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Translating Kevin Durant's recent comments about the summer of 2016

By Jake Whitacre
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Things have been going well for Kevin Durant this summer. He appears to be fully healed of the foot problems that dogged him last season and dealt with less of the #KD2DC speculation that dogged him last summer. It would be hard for Durant to ask for more after what's transpired over the past 12 months.

For a time, it looked like Durant was going to make it through the summer without much fanfare, but unfortunately, he had to deal with Team USA minicamp two weeks ago. Poor guy. Wearing red, white and blue all day with a horde of reporters watching every move you make? Kevin Durant had no chance to avoid questions about the Wizards.

To Durant's credit, he played it very coy, but thanks to the Durant Translator (which we've used in the past to get to the bottom of his cryptic emoji tweets, thoughts on LaMarcus Aldridge, and Instagram posts to uncover his true thoughts on Wizards) we were able to unlock the truth of what Durant had to say to Ken Berger of CBS two weeks ago at Team USA minicamp. We'll post the original quotes, and then add the hidden subtext in bold to help clarify Durant's comments:

On working with new coach Billy Donovan:

"I know what it takes to have that chemistry with your coach. We've been building that since [Donovan] got there and it's been going well. I'm excited to start the season with him. As far as X's and O's, he's one of the best just from watching film with him and picking his brain a bit. He's eager to learn and we're all eager to grow with him."

TRANSLATION: "I know what it takes to have that chemistry with your coach, since I basically run the team by myself. I am my own coach. Donovan is just a new puppet. We've been building that since [Donovan] got there and it's been going well, he's completely on board with puppet-like manipulation. I'm excited to start the season with him. As far as X's and O's, he's one of the best just from watching film with him and picking his brain a bit, because after all, I AM THE COACH, therefore I am one of the best at watching film and picking my own brain. He's eager to learn how to be my puppet and we're all eager to grow with him in puppeteering."

On dealing with last season's injuries:

"That competitive juice is just boiling in my body. I'm ready to play."

TRANSLATION: "That competitive juice is just boiling in my body. This is not some weird figure of speech, I have actual competitive juice in my blood that boils at rooms temperature. That's right: I'm an alien. Washington D.C. isn't my true home, it's a distant planet your silly Earth scientists have not discovered. I just find Washington D.C. to be a great place to live and the climate is better suited for the literal competitive juice that runs through my body. I'm ready to play."

"I had my days where I'm like, 'Man, this is not getting any better. It was kind of like cabin fever, just staring into the gym by myself with the whole Thunder coaching staff and training staff. I was like in a fishbowl, man. It feels good to spread my wings a bit and get back out there on the floor."

TRANSLATION: "I had my days where I'm like, 'Man, this is not getting any better. It feels like July 1, 2016 will never come. It made me feel like I was trapped in Oklahoma. It was kind of like cabin fever, just staring into the gym by myself with the whole Thunder coaching staff and training staff, looking at me like "Hey Kev, when you are going to sign that contract extension so you stay in Oklahoma FORVERRRRR. I was like in a fishbowl, man but probably more like a birdcage, because I'm more exotic than a stupid fish and I can't be won at a carnival game. So yeah, I'm definitely a bird. It feels good to spread my wings a bit and get back out there on the floor."

On dealing with the free agency speculation:

"I'll deal with that once I get there. My main focus and goal is to be the best player and lead my team and have fun playing the game again. That's really all I'm focused on. You guys have to do your job and ask those type of questions, but I'm just trying to focus on being 100 percent committed to Oklahoma City and being the best leader that I can be there."

TRANSLATION: "Moving all my possessions out of Oklahoma ahead of the free agency announcement will be difficult, but I'll deal with that once I get there. My main focus and goal is to be the best player in this world or any other world so that I can reach my peak for the start of the 2016-17 season, and lead my team and have fun playing the game again in Washington. That's really all I'm focused on. You guys have to do your job and ask those type of questions, but I'm just trying to focus on being 100 percent committed to moving all my stuff out of Oklahoma City and being the best leader that I can be at moving all my stuff out of there."

"I wouldn't say it's a circus. I tip my hat to all the guys that got the deals that they wanted and guys that moved teams. I'm just happy for guys that did what they wanted to do and were able to take care of their families in the process. So I wouldn't say it was a crazy time. I thought it was great to see."

TRANSLATION: "I wouldn't say it's a circus, I'd say it's more like a cash party. I tip my hat to all the guys that got the deals that they wanted and guys that moved teams, without cutting into max salary I'll get in Washington next season. I'm just happy for guys that did what they wanted to do and were able to take care of their families in the process, again, without affecting my future plans. So I wouldn't say it was a crazy time. I thought it was great to see because everyone got what they wanted, especially me."

"Whoever says anything, it's not true because it didn't come from us. Simple as that."

TRANSLATION: "Whoever says anything, it's not true because it didn't come from us. The only thing you can trust is the completely accurate translations of my true thoughts, exclusively on bulletsforever.com. Simple as that."

"I know it's coming. It's the year, I'm coming off the injury, a lot of people are expecting me to do this and come back as a better player and a lot of people may be doubting me as well. But that's part of the game. I'm just trying to have fun playing the game. I just want to smile on the court again and go through that whole season with joy and peace."

TRANSLATION: "All the speculation is going to be LIT this season. I know it's coming. It's the year, I'm coming off the injury, a lot of people are expecting me to do this and come back as a better player and a lot of people may be doubting me as well. But that's part of the game, and I love it because I embrace chaos. I'm just trying to have fun playing the game of basketball and manipulating the media to shock everyone when I join the Wizards next season. I just want to smile on the court again and go through that whole season with joy and peace in 2016-17."

On hanging out with other stars at Team USA minicamp:

"To bounce ideas off Chris Paul and LaMarcus Aldridge, Draymond Green and Steph Curry, it's like heaven. It's like being in basketball heaven."

TRANSLATION: "To bounce ideas off Chris Paul and LaMarcus Aldridge on how to burn bridges with the team that drafted you, and talk about how to raise a banner like Draymond Green and Steph Curry, it's like heaven. It's like being in basketball heaven."

On dealing with scrutiny in the build-up to next summer:

"I look forward to that. I can't wait. Boo me, call me any type of name in the book, talk about my family. It is what it is, and I'm ready for it."

TRANSLATION: [Editor's note: Thunder fans have been through enough, we're not even going to play with this quote. -Jake]

On focusing on the upcoming season:

TRANSLATION: "I'm just trying to go out there and not get cussed out by Russell Westbrook, who starts swearing uncontrollably when I bring up the summer of 2016. He gets so heated when I bring it up I usually can't even make out what he says, but I've definitely heard him say something to the effect of 'I CAN'T SUSTAIN A 65 PERCENT USAGE RATE FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON I'LL DIE' or something like that. Poor Russ. He'll probably flip out when he sees me playing flag football with John Wall in a couple weeks."

In This Stream

The #KD2DC translator

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