DISCLAIMER: With Tuesday's big Thunder-Wizards game on the horizon, we want to make it clear the following post is satire. We have no qualms with the Thunder or the fine state of Oklahoma.
As we're all aware, Kevin Durant is coming to Washington on Tuesday night as the Wizards host the Thunder. It's the Thunder's lone trip to the Verizon Center this season. Undoubtedly, it's going to be an awkward event for everyone as D.C. tries to awkward court one of their competitors to join the team next season.
Before the KD2DC hype reaches a fever pitch on Tuesday, Durant took some time to speak with Michael Lee of Yahoo Sports about the unusual atmosphere around the game. Most notably, he took a shot at Wizards fans who were more focused on wooing the Oklahoma City star than supporting the home team:
"It was crazy. It was crazy. It was kind of disrespectful, in my opinion, because you've got a great team there already, that deserves your full, 100 percent support. And I wouldn't like that if I was on that team. And I didn't like that. But it comes with it nowadays. It's a part of it."
And of course, Kevin Durant is spot on here. The worst thing you can do when you're trying to court someone is come off looking desperate and pathetic, unless you're the Cleveland Cavaliers I guess. People want to be with people because they make each other better, not because you'd be letting them down if you don't play along with their silly dream. If Wizards fans really wanted to impress Kevin Durant, they'd go out there and boo the crap out of him and show him how much better life would be if he was on the other side of things.
That said, it's still worth noting Durant is up to no good here. As we've seen time and time again over the past two years, there's always a hidden subtext to his comments that reveals his true intentions for next season. We broke out the KD2DC Translator to uncover the hidden truth behind Durant's comments. As always, we've put his hidden subtext in bold so you can understand his real thoughts:
On the summer of 2016
"First of all, it's always an elephant in the room when you're talking about that stuff especially since I refuse to say 'I'm staying with the Thunder' or 'I'm definitely not going to Washington' like someone would say if that was their plan. I don't want to, like, totally just dodge it because I'd be lying and I don't want to be called a liar. I know it's coming. I know the situation. I know people will compare me to LeBron if I turn my back on the team that drafted me and I really just don't want to deal with that, because I'm much nicer than he is. But I'm really focusing on how I can be better every game. And how I can get back to Washington – I don't want say get back, because I'm back already in my heart – but get used to playing again in front of my adoring fans in D.C. All that other stuff is going to come, the accolades, the billboards, the Kevin Durant Monument on the Walking Mall, but we'll wait until we get to that bridge when we cross it."
On the environment at last season's Thunder-Wizards game
"It was crazy. It was crazy. The only thing I was upset about was that the fans still don't know how to cheer for the Wizards. I had to dunk on poor Marcin Gortat and tell Russell Westbrook to go hit that game-winner just to remind them what it's like to cheer for your team in a big game. It was kind of disrespectful, in my opinion, because you've got a great team there already, that deserves your full, 100 percent support. They should know how to cheer better by now. And I wouldn't like that if I was on that team. And I didn't like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm still definitely signing with the Wizards, but I really wish fans would put down their phones and start cheering for John Wall and Bradley Beal more. But it comes with it nowadays. It's a part of it. One day cheering fans will be replaced by RTs and emojis and when it does, hopefully D.C. will be ready to cheer us on in a truly social way that stays on brand and makes the Verizon Center one of the best atmospheres in the NBA."
On dealing with the extra attention
"I'm really not good with attention because it forces me to comment on things and expose my true thoughts to the KD2DC Translator. I really don't like all this stuff to be centered around me, because it's so much more fun to talk about Russell Westbrook's fashion choices. But this is the price I pay to bring my childhood dream of playing for the Wizards to life. It comes with it, it's a part of it, but I'm still getting used to it. I learned to embrace it a little bit more, but it's still a little awkward for me."
So there you have it. Clearly, Kevin Durant is still joining the Wizards, but wants to make sure the fans class it up for Tuesday's big game. We can't say we blame him.