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Report: Wizards hire Roy Rogers to replace Sam Cassell

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According to Yahoo, the Wizards have quickly found a replacement assistant coach in Roy Rogers.

It's really hard to find pictures of assistant coaches for some reason.
It's really hard to find pictures of assistant coaches for some reason.
John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWW!

That's right, folks. Roy Rogers is the new assistant coach of the Washington Wizards, according to a report from Yahoo:

I mean, I for one LOVE this outside-the-box thinking. Having a cowboy as an assistant coach instead of a seasoned basketball veteran is a bold move after a summer of bold moves by the Wizards' management. Every team needs something new to spice it up. You can't have the same-old-same-old every year, ya know? Sometimes, you gotta have a cattle wrangler right in there, lassoing guys on defense, running horses through illegal screens, arresting outlaws, and things like that. Frankly, that's something that this team has been missing for... well, forever.

Oh... wait a second. It's not the cowboy? There's an actual coach named Roy Rogers? Oh, well that's great, too. He's a big-man coach, which is pretty great for Washington for two reasons: 1) There are a ton of big men on the roster and 2) After Brook Lopez went down last year in Brooklyn, the Nets figured out really solid big man rotation that wound up with them getting into the playoffs and defeating the plucky upstart Toronto Raptors in seven exciting games. It would be great to see what he could do in D.C.

According to his bio on the Brooklyn Nets website (which will likely come down soon), Rogers served as an assistant coach for the Nets, Pistons, and Celtics from 2008-2014. He also coached in the D-League from 2004-2008 for the Austin Toros, the Tulsa 66ers, and the Huntsville Flight. He was also a first round pick in the 1996 draft and spent three years in the league with four different teams, and after that he spent some time overseas playing ball as well--one of those stops being Poland, which may explain this heartfelt welcome as soon as the news first broke:

Oh, and if you do happen to maybe have some cowboy in you, you should know there's a really good Texas barbecue joint about a block and a half from the Verizon Center.

Welcome to Washington, Coach Rogers.