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As of this writing, Randy Wittman has the best playoff coaching record in NBA history. The key to his success? Small sample sizes Motivational tactics, according to Michael Lee. The deal was, if the the Wizards beat the Bulls (which they did, resoundingly) noted 54 year old high-flyer Randy Wittman would dunk for his players. To date, this has not happened.
We're assuming the holdup is due to the low ceilings in at most Indiana gyms and believe this should be rectified once the Wizards get back to D.C. Certainly, Wittman has lots of options here, and while we don't want to overwhelm him with dunk options, we're hoping he hears us out on some of these ideas:
- Dunk over Drew Gooden. That'll teach him to doubt Wittman's dunking prowess.
- Dunk over a trash can and make a Roy Hibbert joke. All the cool kids are doing it!
Do a dunk wearing a Lady Gaga dress.- Dunk over stacks of cigarette cartons to remind the team of how far they've come since 2012.
- Rip off outfit, reveal he's wearing a vintage Dominique Wilkins jersey and recreate some famous dunks from your Atlanta teammate.
- Rip off outfit, reveal he's wearing a vintage Rik Smits jersey and recreate some famous dunks from your Indiana teammate. This one is less exciting, but really sticks it to the Pacers.
- Selfie dunk.
- Do a 360, then pull out some sunglasses and Beal With It.
- Throw down a windmill, then run over to an assistant with a tablet and start pressing the Turn Down For What button.
- Do the Hoosiers bit where you have the team measure the court, then wheel out a 12 foot rim and dunk on it.