Thursday Breakfast Bullet-in: Wizards win, Wizards in (the playoffs)

New segment. New name.

Before we stress over the "the big picture" or "long-term implications" of the 'Playoffs or Bust' mentality, let's just take a second to enjoy this moment. Ceteris paribus, the goal was "make the playoffs," and that's what they've done. Last time the Wizards made the playoffs,

• Bradley Beal was graduating middle school
• Nick Young was a rookie
• No Wizard had ever participated in a dunk contest
• Gilbert Arenas was younger than present-day Trevor Booker
  
• I still thought flat brims were cool
• TJ Ford was throwing playoff dimes to Chris Bosh

And so what if those playoffs ended painfully after a measly six games? It was still one of the most entertaining times to be a Wizards fan. We had SouljaGate and HaywoodSnark. Emotional highs juxtaposed with devastating lows. I'm still pumped/scarred from the utter elation/heartbreak of Caron Butler's/Delonte West's game-winner. Although they were eventually dismantled by crybaby crab dribblers and shooting Szczerbiaks, the ride was 100 percent pure adrenaline, and I can't wait to see what's in store this time around.

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• As I'm sure you already know: Desean Jackson DC.
• But did you also know that, as proselytized in yesterday's nameless post, that it's 100 percent, indisputably because of our very own Hildred?
• Well, maybe not completely. But he was asked to participate, and although I don't think he could make it back in time to join them out, the result was a success. Now it would be nice to see those recruitment skills pay off for the Wizards.
• Happy 47th birthday to former Bullet, Pervis Ellison! Not only was he "Never Nervous Pervous" never nervous, he also never led the Bullets to more than 30 wins in his 4-year tenure with the team. However, he was the franchise's first player to take home the Most Improved Player Award ('92), paving the way for future MIPers Don Mclean ('94), Gheorghe Muresan ('96), and Hibachi McZero ('03).
• Fellow DC talent Bryce Harper made fun of John Wall's 2011 first pitch on the premier of a new MTV2 show. But if you thought that pitch was ugly, just wait till they come out with the ratings for that show.
• Plus, if they're not above old news, why didn't they mention Wall's quality redemption pitch, a result of countless hours training with Kevin "le lanceur prodige" Seraphin?
  
• Sarah Mclachlan's got nothing on Jason Carlos.
  
• There's been a lot of talk about whether or not the new U.S. Men's National Soccer Team away jerseys were inspired by bomb popsicles. But I have a different conspiracy.
  
• Not sure which was better last night: Marcin Gortat's stat line or his infiltration of the Celtics huddle.
  
• Slovenien Goran Dragic music video is very, well, Slovenien.
• Meanwhile in ContenderLand, the Spurs won their 19th straight.
• How many times has Tim Duncan achieved 50-win seasons? 16. Out of 17 seasons. Better than most teams since 1946.
• If you'd really like to win the water cooler talk today, read Mike Prada's analysis on the Pacers' struggles on offense.
• Instead of finding the one or two best tweets from last night's game, just go read Truth About It's Twitter Storify to relive the experience.

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Take us out, Kevin.