Have you ever heard of Godwin's law? It's an adage that states "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."
In the same way, a new adage is beginning to emerge among Wizards fans, which I'm dubbing Whitacre's law, because I wrote it down first. It states "As an online Wizards discussion grows longer, the probability of bringing up Kevin Durant approaches 1." Don't believe it? Check out this nugget from Mark Seagraves' report on the Wizards looking into building a practice facility in Shaw and how it would affect taxes on tickets and concessions:
Fans aren't too thrilled about the price increases.
"I don't think it's a good idea at all," Eric Simms said.
Officials are hoping the D.C. facility could lure new players -- like Seat Pleasant, Maryland native Kevin Durant -- into living and paying taxes in the city. Sources say city officials want the facility built as soon as possible.
When a superstar like Durant is brought into the equation, Simms was quick to change his mind.
"Well, if you're going to bring Durant to the team, then yes, I would do it ... it would be winning championship," he said.
Sure, there are lots of issues to discuss with this potential plan, that we will be covering in the following days, including the financial ramifications for the city and impact on the Shaw community. But first, let's focus on how we already have one person on record stating he would be willing to pay higher taxes to bring Kevin Durant to Washington. We're going to go out on a limb and assume he's not the only one who feels this way.
This got the Bullets Forever staff talking about what they'd be willing to give up to bring Kevin Durant to Washington. Here's what our staff is willing to sacrifice to make it a reality:
- Send Kevin Durant a DC Brau six-pack each month in perpetuity.
- Watch the Washington football team every week.
- Let Kevin Durant sleep in his guest room, even if his parents were in town.
- Always pick the Blue line instead of the Yellow line to make his life less convenient.
- Put up with permanent single tracking on Metro.
- Ride through red light cameras once a month (and pay the fine, I'm presuming).
- Call Durant by his preferred nickname, "The Servant."
- Give up on ever seeing the Silver Line extended into Loudoun County.
- Do laundry for all players and staff.
- Give up Twitter forever.
- Move into D.C. and put up with construction traffic for the rest of his life.
- Go to jail, as long as someone would visit him after games to share box scores and recaps with him.
- Sign a lifetime deal to coach the Washington football team.
- Petition to devote an entire lane of the Beltway and repurpose HOV lanes solely for KD's personal use.
- Buy Durant a new backpack every year.
- Become the site's John Feinstein and tell people on the radio that he would trade Durant for Kendall Marshall and say Durant is the Wizards' seventh-best player.
- Continue to write things like this about Kevin Durant until my fingers fall off.
- Continue to shamelessly name things after myself.