Trying to understand Kevin Durant's KD7 Uprising commercial

When it was announced that Kevin Durant was going to stay with NIke, despite Under Armour's best efforts to lure the Maryland-based Durant back to his roots, it looked like a pretty sharp blow to the movement to bring Kevin Durant to the Washington Wizards. But as it turns out, Kevin Durant is still using Nike to keep diehard fans in the loop until he can join the Wizards in 2016.

On Wednesday, Nike released an ad for a new colorway of his new shoe, the KD7. The new version is called the Uprising, which sure sounds a lot like #dcRising to us. Here's the ad for the new colorway:

For those of you can't watch the video or just feel like reading along, here's the transcript of the ad:

We start off at the lower levels. We start off struggling and getting better and people may think you're born with certain skills. None of these guys that make it now were born with anything, it's something that you gotta hone.

[TITLE: STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM. RISING TO THE TOP.]

[TITLE: ELEVATION]

When I think about where I come from, just when I first picked up a ball and how bad I was, I wanted to conquer not being able to make a layup or a jump shot. That's how I started to grow. But I think that love for the game is something that grew in me and me wanting to get better grew as well.

When you mess up, and when you fall, and when you get back up, that's what builds character. That love just knowing that no matter what, if you fall again, you're going to be able to get back up because you've been there before.

[HOLDS UP A CHILDHOOD PHOTO OF HIMSELF PLAYING BASKETBALL]

There's bumps and bruises along the way. There's obstacles that you gotta get through, but knowing that journey makes it sweeter right now.

Now that all sounds nice, but to get to the truth of this ad, we had to run it through our custom-built KD2DC Translator (patent pending). Here is the full translation:

We start off at the lower levels, and develop attachments to places where we grow up that we carry with us the rest of our lives. We start off struggling and getting better (but I got better faster than most people, because I'm amazing) and people may think you're born with certain skills (because I was, obviously). None of these guys that make it now were born with anything, which is why it truly does take a village to raise a child. Did I mention I grew up in Seat Pleasant, Maryland? Learning to love your hometown, it's something that you gotta hone.

[TITLE: STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM IN THE D.C. AREA. RISING TO THE TOP IN THE D.C. AREA, WHERE I WILL HOIST THE LARRY O'BRIEN TROPHY AS A MEMBER OF THE WASHINGTON WIZARDS IN 2017.]

[TITLE: ELEVATION (You know, like I'm flying away from Oklahoma City, back to D.C.)]

When I think about where I come from, something I'm doing more and more often as I get closer to free agency, just when I first picked up a ball and how bad I was, I wanted to conquer not being able to make a layup or a jump shot, and look, I did in spectacular fashion! That's how I started to grow, with the support of the people from my hometown and look at me now: THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER IN THE NBA. Look it up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me. But I think that love for the game (and my hometown team, the Washington Bullets/Wizards) is something that grew in me (and continues to grow). and me wanting to get better grew as well, so I can be at my absolute best when I join my hometown team in 2016. #livinthedream

When you mess up, and when you fall like I've done several times with the Thunder, since they keep penny-pinching at every turn, and when you get back up like I will in 2016 with the Washington Wizards, that's what builds character and wins championships alongside John Wall and Bradley Beal. That love just knowing that no matter what, if you fall again, you're going to be able to get back up because you've been there before, and because I grew up in the D.C. area and they'll console me when the Thunder let me down the next two years, and raise me up to glorious victory for the 2016-17 season.

[HOLDS UP A CHILDHOOD PHOTO OF HIMSELF PLAYING BASKETBALL BECAUSE KD IS NOT SUBTLE]

There's bumps and bruises along the way, like watching the Thunder use a first round pick on Josh Huetsis. There's obstacles that you gotta get through, like the final two years of this contract, but knowing that John Wall, Bradley Beal, and the complete adoration of my hometown are right around the corner in this journey makes it sweeter right now.

DISCLAIMER: We may have interjected some of our own opinions there.