Here at Bullets Forever, we're committed to cutting through the dense fog of jockspeak so you can understand what the athletes you care about are really trying to say. Recently, Kevin Durant has said some things that at the surface, seem very non-committal towards his future. But after using our KD2DC translator (patent pending), we were able to extract the important things Kevin Durant had to say about his future with the Washington Wizards, first in his interview with Sam Amick, then his new Nike commercial.
Of course, as a devoted Wizards fan, Kevin Durant surely reads Bullets Forever and realizes that we've cracked his code. Tuesday, he unveiled his latest effort to encrypt his secret messages to Washington Wizards management in his first press conference since he underwent surgery last week for his injured foot. Thankfully, our KD2DC translator was ahead of the curve and has already cracked the code on what Kevin Durant was REALLY saying.
As it turns out, when Durant was answering questions about his foot, he was secretly answering questions from the Wizards about how he will adjust to life when he returns to Washington D.C. First, check out Durant's quotes to the media from ESPN's Royce Young. To any unsuspecting fan, they seem innocent enough, but once you expose the invisible ink to the heat of the KD2DC translator, the true motives become clear.
We've bolded the original questions the Wizards were secretly asking Durant and followed them up with Durant's actual responses from the press conference:
Would it be fair to say you're starting to transition to a mentoring role in Oklahoma City, trying to help the players that you'll be leaving behind in less than two years?
I feel like Nick Saban, just rolling around in my scooter from court to court giving advice and trying to help out as much as I can.
Given our luck, there's a good chance you'll be injured at some point during your time here. Could you practice how you'll respond to reporters if you somehow injured your wrist? And of course, please replace "Wizards" with "Thunder" so no one catches on.
It's definitely a different experience for me. I've never been injured before, but the Thunder's been great to get me to the best surgeon, and rehab has been going well so far. Everything is progressing, and I'm looking forward to these next few weeks of getting better.
Are you bummed that you still have to wait another two years before you can join your future teammates on the Wizards?
I'm looking at the positive side of it. It's a win-win, basically, because I'm learning a lot while I'm out about the game, and my teammates are getting lots of opportunities because there are a lot of minutes out there to help the team.
Should we be doing anything differently with John Wall to get him ready to play alongside of you?
Nothing has to change. Just stay who he is and continue to play the way he plays, and everybody is going to follow. He's going to do a great job.
Are you worried about how Russell Westbrook will handle your departure?
I'm not worried about Russ.
Well, okay then. But let's get back to our current team. Otto Porter is looking really good this preseason and we're worried he'll regress playing behind you. Should we be doing anything differently?
[He] may get more opportunities now, but you don't have to change what you do. He knows that. He's a smart player. He knows we all have to do it as a team, and it's going to be fun. I'm excited to see the team play.
We heard you were pretty bummed last week that you couldn't be a Wizard RIGHT NOW. Are you sure you're doing OK? We don't want to cause any hurt feelings between you and the people you've bonded with in Oklahoma City by demanding a trade request to speed things along.
I'm not going to rush it all. That's the one thing I don't want to do. I'm sure I'll feel better in two or three weeks, but definitely don't want to rush it and wind up hurting it even more. I'm taking my time with it. I'm just blessed it happened early in the season where I can get past it, and hopefully by December I'll be ready to play.
Are you sure? It's been a bit of a whirlwind since people started catching on to your plan this summer.
It was unexpected but going through so much in my life already, I knew this was a bump in the road I had to get past, and it's really all good, to be honest.
Did you really need surgery, or is this just part of your plan to make your exit easier on everyone?
If I would've kept playing on it with no surgery, it could get worse.
Oh, okay. Good to know. Can you say something that Thunder fans can use as an out to explain away why you struggled this year and couldn't lead them to a title? *wink wink*
I'm always one of those guys that has to play a lot to be in shape, in order for me to feel great. So I don't know. This is new and different for me, so we'll see how I feel.
You read all those tweets and articles and stuff from Bullets Forever we sent you about why you shouldn't like the Cavaliers or the Bulls, right?
I've been antsy since I came out of surgery. I seen that Cleveland and Chicago game last night, and I wanted to get out there and play. But as a competitor, I just love to play basketball. That's all I've been doing, and injuries have never had me out this long, but it's part of the game, and I understand that.