Wizards vs. Celtics Preview: Over the hump day?

You know which narrative isn't going to go away until they break that barrier? THE NEVER-ENDING QUEST TO WIN MORE GAMES THAN YOU LOSE. It's basically the same reason they had the Crusades like a thousand years ago. Except everyone lost. And it was nothing like the Crusades. Maybe I'm thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. No, wait. That's definitely it.

Oh, right. The game. Well, your boys in red, white, and blue will face off against the once-great-probably-will-be-great-pretty-soon boys in green, better known as the Boston Celtics.

Where and when? Tip off is at 7 p.m. at the Verizon Center. It's cold, so bundle up! Also, if you're driving to the game or walking to the arena from the metro, watch out for slippery slushiness on the roads and sidewalks. I was downtown earlier today, and there's still plenty of snow/slush everywhere.

Are they good? Let's consider a few things: Ray Allen's been gone for two seasons, Rajon Rondo's been out for most of this season with injury (he's back, and on a minutes restriction), they traded Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce to the Nets, they just traded Jordan Crawford (STEEEEEEZ) to the Warriors, and Doc Rivers is living it up with the Clippers. So, they should be pretty bad. But Brad Stevens has this team performing at a weirdly-competent level for being so depleted. So they're not "good," but they can certainly knock you out if you take them too lightly.

Who's out? Avery Bradley's not playing tonight for Boston (ankle), and Jerryd Bayless is out as well (toe). Keith Bogans is out indefinitely for personal reasons. For the Wiz, GRJR is on his rehab stint in the D-League, and Al Harrington is still not that close to returning. Also, Trevor Booker didn't practice yesterday, and he'll be a game-time decision.

What are they good at? D-FENCE. CLAP CLAP. D-FENCE. CLAP CLAP. (I spelled it like a picket fence to give you the visual of someone holding up a giant letter D and a picture of a fence. Did it work?) Well, they're 14th in league in defensive efficiency, so they're above average. Not good enough to win more than 14 games so far this season, but we can admire their effort.--especially since the Wizards won 29 games last year and were top-10 in defensive efficiency for most of the year. GAME RESPECT GAME.

What are they bad at? Scoring. Also, they are bad at steez. To be fair, so are the Wizards, since we both traded away the steeziest man in the league.

Who's going to win? I'd like to say the Wizards, but with the way they almost let Philly steal one from them on Monday, plus their mental block about getting over .500, I could see this going either way. Then again, the Wizards are favored to win tonight by several possessions, so I think I'll still root-rootroot for the home team.

By the way, does anyone know if two African swallows can carry a coconut between them on a string?