Well, I've been snowboarding the whole week, which means I have absolutely no idea what happened after Saturday night. Lucky for me I had a random piece drawn up for the eventuality. Hopefully you enjoy some lighter fare. You may .gif riot in the comments, as today is Friday, if that is your wish. Also interested to see what picks you would make if you had to match a Wizard to a theme song.
John Wall: Flash Gordon Theme by Queen
John Wall will save every one of us. King of the impossible. Need I go on?
Shelvin Mack: Got To Give It Up by Marvin Gaye
John is the saviour of the universe, but Shelvin looks so smooth in the backcourt you've got to give it up, and so do I. And so do opposing defenses who sleep on our backup PG.
Nick Young: Whip My Hair by Willow Smith performed by Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young
The rap on Nick is that he only does one thing well, but it took long enough to get recognized. Factor in a somber cover of a one-dimensional song by an easy-going guy you can't help but smile at and there wasn't really another choice for me.
Jordan Crawford: Transformer by Gnarls Barkley
This one required some thought. Undeniable talent mixed with ludicrous confidence in the ability to be whatever the protagonist feels like seemed about right.
Rashard Lewis: I'm Not Crying by Flight of the Conchords
The hate a once good NBA player has to deal with is tough with his game fallen off a cliff, but we can't really take such a storyline seriously when he's making more salary than most Wall Street CEOs. Cue the ironic warbling of your favorite band from New Zealand.
Chris Singleton: Short Skirt, Long Jacket by Cake
Chris is exactly what Wiz fans were asking for. A tough perimeter defender with the right allocations and a developing three point shot. If Rook had written a song about Chris Singleton's future pre-draft, this is where he would have lived for inspiration.
Trevor Booker: Remember The Name by Fort Minor
As Raheem Morris might say, this man is youngry! Grown Ass Man's coming along just fine and seems to be becoming a guy Randy will rely on, and that is just fine with Wizards Nation. Trevor can be the face of the new Wizards culture and [insert chorus here].
Jan Vesely: Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) by The Offspring
I probably should have thought more about this...but honestly, once it popped up in my head I had no other choice. Even if it's Chris Singleton who wears number 31. AND Jan's girlfriend can do the backup vocals. This stuff writes itself.
Andray Blatche: Don't Think Twice, It's Alright by Bob Dylan
A song about a relationship that didn't work out where the singer doesn't blame anyone after wasted precious time? Check.
Javale McGee: Bicycle Race by Queen
Every time Javale skys for a block a little late, instead of screaming 'please god, not goaltending!' in my head, I hear this song. I seriously considered making a video mix of Javale jumping and swatting a few hundred times while this played in the background, but had to stop when I realized I didn't have any video editing skills.
Kevin Seraphin: A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley (JXL remix)
Wizards fans would definitely prefer more reason to watch Kevin than talk about his progress or lack thereof. We know what we were getting into when we drafted a project and we've simply got to give it more time...but all this aggravation ain't satisfactionin' me.
Hit the jump for your bonus songs:Randy Wittman: The Trooper by Iron Maiden
Randy's got the unenviable task of whipping the team into an emotional frenzy and playing out of their minds every night. Sometimes I get the feeling like we're about to watch a doomed cavalry charge, like if we do everything right there's a chance...but probably not. Song still gets me pumped, and when I think of the valiant attitude we often see coming out of the gate, I imagine this track blasting in the locker room.
Gilbert Arenas: Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd
Could there be any other choice for Gil? If you haven't heard this song before, you should hear it now.
Caron Butler: Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie
I direct your attention to MP's piece on CB. That is all.
Flip Saunders: Bye Bye, Miss American Pie by Don MacLean
Could definitely see Flip in a high-end bar nursing a cheap beer playing this song on his iPad remembering life when Gungate happened.
Wizards Fans: I Would Do Anything For Love by Meatloaf
This simply HAS to be true for any remaining Wizards fan who rallies to the colors. There's pretty much nothing that could drive us away from this team.
I didn't get everyone, of course. Feel free to fill in the many blanks. I look forward to getting back into the mix this week and seeing all of you there.