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Washington Wizards Defeat Portland Trailblazers, 124-109: We Held Our Own Valentine's Day Massacre

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Ok, deep breath.

One more.

Alright, I'm ready. You?

A fun game tonight! It just demonstrates that when you have outside shooting, it opens up your playbook. Also, when you shoot at a completely insane rate ... it's really, really fun. Everyone brought something to the table tonight. I'm not thinking clearly at the moment, because I'm not sure what I just witnessed. So, instead....

Let's give out the chocolates and flowers!!

A Romantic Dinner for Two: Nick Young and Jordan Crawford. Go on fellas, you deserve it. Especially you Nick Young. You can order the lobster.

A Day At the Spa: John Wall. Go take a rest, recuperate, maybe get that cucumber treatment I've been hearing so much about.

Mixtape made on an actual tape with many songs that make you want to rock out: Jan Vesely. You make my heart go pitter patter with your sneaky Euro moves. Go enjoy the night with your girlfriend.

Slightly wilted flowers from Teleflora: JaVale McGee. I like you JaVale, I'm just not sure about my feelings. Every time you do something to earn my trust, you turn around and break my heart with another attempted dunk from the free-throw line.

Build a Bear: Rashard Lewis and Trevor Booker. You guys were there and I need to show some appreciation, I just don't want to put too much thought into it. So take this token of my emotions.

Let's just be friends text: Chris Singleton. It's just not working out tonight buddy, sorry. And stop calling when I'm hanging out with my friends.

Drunken phonecall at 3AM: Mo Evans. I SEE THAT ISO MO! I REFUSE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!!!!!!

Crappy NECO hearts: Everyone else. Sorry guys, no dap for you

Broke the streak at the Rose Garden. Two in a row on the road. Beat Gerald Wallace. All in all, a good night's work.