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Team Steez vs. Team Swag: Where does each Wizard fall?

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Jeff Hanisch-US PRESSWIRE

It's still too early in the season to tell if we'll have enough quotes to put together another #QUOTESANITY like we did last spring, but if we do, Jordan Crawford will certainly be getting his own region this time around. He added to his lore today in an interview with Dan Steinberg.

"Why do you wear sunglasses in the locker room after games?" I asked Jordan Crawford on Thursday.

Little did I know that the answer would soon have me listening to Wu-Tang Clan and Gang Starr tracks in the Verizon Center media room. Without headphones, too.

"Oh, that's just a part of my steez," Crawford replied.

As Trey Kerby notes, it's a departure from the swag era of Gilbert Arenas, and in some ways it is, but I think there's still some members of Team Swag in the Wizards' locker room. Here's how I'd break down the roster at the moment:

TEAM STEEZ

  • Jordan Crawford, because he's the ringmaster of Team Steez.
  • John Wall, because dominating summer league games is his steez.
  • Kevin Seraphin, because he has a pet snake.
  • Jan Vesely, because he gets steez just by being close to Jordan.
  • Chris Singleton, because he has his own clothing line. He literally has his own steez.
  • Earl Barron, because he's the newest, hottest thing around.

TEAM SWAG

  • Bradley Beal, because he's cool and collected. That's what swag is all about, right?
  • Martell Webster, because sleeping in your car seems like something Gilbert Arenas would do, and if it's something Gilbert Arenas would do, it's swaggy.
  • Nene, because he was way cooler in 2010.
  • Cartier Martin and A.J. Price, because they can drop daggers.
  • Kevin Seraphin, because he's got enough swag to invoke Michael Jordan to announce his return. And yes, Kevin is on both teams. It just makes more sense this way.
  • Jannero Pargo, because you have to have swag to continue shooting at the rate he does while making shots at the rate he does.
  • Trevor Booker, because he said he likes to get crunk, which is even more outdated than swag.
NOTE: Emeka Okafor is on neither team because he's above all this silliness. Also, get off his lawn.