We've now had a chance to breathe after a difficult season. That means it's time to hand out some hardware. Over the next week, we'll be commemorating the season that was, allowing you all to vote for key awards such as Player of the Year, Play of the Year, Game of the Year and all sorts of other stuff. To start, though, let's get some of the more irreverent awards out of the way. Thanks to all of you for your suggestions.
Make the jump for more.
First things first: we tried to get Conan O'Brien to host the BF awards, figuring he had a lot of time on his hands after the NBC fiasco. Unfortunately, O'Brien eventually went to TBS once he found out that BF is a blog, not a TV station. I think he's making the wrong decision, but what can I do? We could have easily poached George Lopez, but decided not to because he's not funny. So I guess that leaves nobody to host. Sorry guys.
Anyway...
The Michael Adams Award For Dribbling Master
(via Tbonebullets)
This award goes to the player who really, really likes the sound of the ball pounding the court. It's named after Michael Adams, a player who could certainly score, but needed a lot of dribbles to do it.
I think you all know who the winner is. Congratulations, Earl Boykins!
The Rex Chapman Award For The Man Made Out Of Glass
(via ThaCaronic)
This award is named after the legendary Incandescent Rex Chapman, who never played more than 60 games in any of his seasons with Washington. As luck would have it, this year's winner is also a Caucasian shooting guard. How crazy is that?
Anyway, the obvious winner is Mike Miller. Congrats, Mike! We'll send you a knee brace for your efforts.
The Gilbert Arenas Award For The Most Interesting Locker-Room Character
This award is named after, who else, Gilbert Arenas, for being the best post-game quote on the team. Arenas has won this award five times in a row, but it's time to recognize someone new.
So with that, this year's winner is ... Mike James. Congratulations, Mike!
The LeBron James Award For Biggest Jerk Move
(via Elvin_is_my_Elvis)
I don't even need to explain why this award is named after LeBron James, so let's just get on with it.
This year, we've decided to give the award to two people for two very depressing things they did this season. Your co-winners ... Caron Butler and Andray Blatche.
Butler gets the award for his decision to ignore coach Flip Saunders' play-call at the end of a midseason game vs. the Mavericks (ironic, I know). Relive the decision here.
Blatche, of course, gets this for taking him out of a late-season game, drawing the ire of Flip Saunders. I don't think I need to relive this one.
The Mike Miller Award For Most Interesting Fashion Decision
(via ThaCaronic)
This award is named after Mike Miller, who graced the locker room most nights with interesting flannel shirts and color combinations. That, of course, means that Miller is the winner of this award. However, he wins for a different reason: his decision to wear LeBron James shoes in training camp. In fact, Miller wins for his general devotion to LeBron James. Probably not the smartest thing to do.
The Juwan Howard Award For Nicest Guy That Isn't Producing
This award goes to the player that's hard to hate, but still manages to draw the ire of many fans because of his poor production. This was a tough award to hand out because the whole team is full of nice guys, but there was one candidate that really stood out.
This year's winner is ... Randy Foye. Foye really is a wonderful person, especially with all his charity work back home, but the dude just wasn't as good as he should have been this year.
The LaDell Eackles Award For Biggest Black Hole
(via ledellforlife)
This award goes to the player who was seemingly allergic to passing the ball for most of the season. Unfortunately, there were many candidates for this year's award, which probably explains why this year was such a failure. After intense deliberation, we have finally decided on a winner.
This year's winner is ... Caron Butler. It saddens us to give this award to Butler, but facts don't lie. When your assist percentage goes from 19.7% to 9.2%, we kind of have no choice.
The Chris Whitney Award For Most Random Season Saver
This award goes to the previously-unknown player who nearly saved the season with great play down the stretch. It is named after Chris Whitney because Whitney nearly led a depleted 1998 Wizards team to the playoffs after taking over for Rod Strickland down the stretch.
And this year's winner is ... come on, do I even need to spell this out? Obviously it's Shaun Livingston.
The Tyrone Nesby "Even Stevens" Award For Most Inconsistent Player
(via Pryme)
This award goes to the player who had a nasty tendency of following up a nice play with a maddening one. It is named after Tyrone Nesby because, for all the things he did well, he also made some remarkably dumb decisions on both ends of the floor. Nesby played hard, but you had to wonder what he was thinking some of the time. This makes him the perfect guy for this award to be named after.
And this year's winner is ... Al Thornton. Congrats Al! You'll receive a Two-Face costume for winning this award.
The Robert Pack Award For Most Cursed Player
(via sierradave)
To put it bluntly, this award goes to the player who best exhibits the Washington injury curse. It is named after the legendary Robert Pack, who went down after just 31 games in 1995/96, right when he was starting to emerge as a good point guard.
And this year's winner is ... Josh Howard. In fact, we really should just rename this award the "Josh Howard Award."
The Charles Jones Award For Biggest Secret Weapon
This award goes to the player that most casual NBA fans denounce, but us Wizards fans understand where he provides value. It's named after Charles Jones, who was a mainstay on the teams in the 1980s despite producing very little statistically. He, of course, was a cult hero, as he should have been.
This year's winner is ... James Singleton. Congrats, James. We'll send you a "Big Game James" shirt as a prize.
The Rasheed Wallace Award For Biggest Post-Game Meltdown
(via ThaCaronic)
Rasheed Wallace is probably the right person to name this award after, even though his epic meltdowns came after he left DC. This award goes to the person who lost his cool the most after a bad game and unleashed an epic postgame rant. There's only one clear winner here.
Congratulations to Flip Saunders! I'll remember this press conference for the rest of my life.
The Gheorghe Muresan Award For The Worst Omen
This award is named after my favorite player of all time, Gheorghe Muresan. First, some history. After a playoff appearance in 1997, the Wizards entered the 1998 season poised to take the next step. Then, Muresan got hurt trying to film My Giant, and the season was mostly a disappointment. Looking back, Muresan's injury was a pretty bad sign that the season was going to be far worse than anyone expected.
This year's winner is Antawn Jamison. At the time, I was optimistic your shoulder injury in the preseason wasn't a big deal, but looking back, it was the first shoe to drop in a terrible season.
The Ben Wallace Award For The Guy That Got Away
(via disgrunted)
This award goes to the next player who we could have had, but instead went to another team and blossomed into an excellent player. We could preemptively give this award to Shaun Livingston, in order to prepare for the inevitable free agent departure. We could also give this award to Alonzo Gee, who I think we'll hear from in the near future. But there are two clear winners that should be commemorated.
Congratulations, Stephen Curry and DeJuan Blair! May you have long, productive careers.
And Finally ... The Susan O'Malley Award For Most Ill-Fated Marketing Campaign
(via khrabb)
You can't exactly blame the marketing staff for the "Our Time" concept, but it definitely fell a bit flat on its face. So much so that the new pregame video began with the phrase "It's not how you start, it's how you finish." You're telling me. So it seems appropriate to give this award to this pregame video. It seems a little outdated now. Just a little.