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Where Won't Amazing Happen This Year?

By Jake Whitacre
Can Calbert Cheaney help lead the 93-94 Bullets or the 94-95 Bullets to the Bullets Forever Epic Failoff title?
Can Calbert Cheaney help lead the 93-94 Bullets or the 94-95 Bullets to the Bullets Forever Epic Failoff title?

With Pradamaster still on a bit of a hiatus from the site, we decided that it would be best to stay away from any kind of off-season team and player evaluations until we're back at full-strength.  I can promise you that the evaluations will be worth the wait, but that also means that I have to think of some things to write about between now and then to fill the void.  78 Rules for the Wizards Lottery Pick is one of those void-fillers, and another one is being unveiled right now: The Bullets Forever Epic Failoff.  

What's the Bullets Forever Epic Failoff, you ask?  It's a little tournament that we'll be running to determine the worst team in franchise history, featuring the worst 8 squads in Bullets/Wizards history.

We'll be using the site WhatIfSports to simulate these contests as well as generate box scores and play-by-play for each game in the playoffs.  For example, you can see how in this game that the 2000-01 Wizards were just a Michael Smith jump hook away from defeating the 1995-96 Bulls.  (Before anyone questions the reliability of the simulator, it's worth noting that it took me quite a few simulations to get a game that close.)

There will be a few things that make the Bullets Forever Epic Failoff different from what you'll be seeing in the NBA Playoffs.  The first difference is that this will be a single-elimination tournament because I don't think anyone could bear watching any of these teams go at it in a best-of-seven series.  The other important distinction is that in this tournament, the loser advances.  Remember, we're looking for the worst team in franchise history, not the best loser.  In other words, the incentive for all of these teams to win is to avoid the dubious distinction of being the worst team in franchise history.

Here are the seeds for the Epic Failoff:

  1. 2008-09 Washington Wizards
  2. 2000-01 Washington Wizards
  3. 1966-67 Baltimore Bullets
  4. 1994-95 Washington Bullets
  5. 1992-93 Washington Bullets
  6. 1993-94 Washington Bullets
  7. 2003-04 Washington Wizards
  8. 1991-92 Washington Bullets

I might have to swap out the 08-09 Wizards for the 61-62 Packers depending on how long it takes WhatIfSports to add this year's rosters, but we'll tentatively keep this year's squad as the top seed.  If it takes too long, we'll just have them face-off with the tournament champion once this year's team is added to the database.  Regardless of what happens, here's your place to put down your predictions for who you think will come out on top bottom.