I'll be honest, I really don't how to preface this post, so let's jump past the thin candy shell and right into the ooey-gooey chocolate center of the post shall we?
WHAT THE WIZARDS WOULD BE IF THEY WERE CANDY
Gilbert Arenas = Pixy Stix: The complaints about both are the same: Very sweet, good for a quick thrill, not a whole lot of filling substance. Yet you rarely see fans of either complain about feeling empty.
Andray Blatche = Twizzlers: Both could benefit from being a little thicker.
Dee Brown = Skittles: In the interest of full disclosure, nothing about Dee Brown's game reminds me of Skittles, but whenever I watch him, he reminds me of a hyper kid running around after eating a whole bag Skittles.
Caron Butler = Snickers: With a Snickers bar, you're getting a nice, diverse package of chocolate, nougat, peanuts, and caramel. Caron also gives you a little bit of everything and puts it into a sweet package that everyone can enjoy. (Not to mention, that every so often you see both wrapped in gold. But let's not talk about the alternate jerseys right now.)
Antonio Daniels = Hershey's: Sure, there's stuff out there that might taste a little better, or have some fancier packaging, but these two give you what you're looking for every single time.
Brendan Haywood = Peanut Brittle: At first look, they both look kind of clumsy. Brendan isn't exactly Pete Maravich and peanut brittle looks like a rejected batch of semi-processed peanut butter. But when you get down to it, you realize that both are pretty doggone good.
Antawn Jamison = M&M's: A timeless classic. And like Jamison's shot, you can find M&M's in just about every variety imaginable.
JaVale McGee = Bacon Bar: At first, they both sound kind of gross (Chocolate flavored bacon? An athletic 7-footer that has 3 pt. range but struggles with rebounding?) but they're both intriguing enough to make you want to try it out at least once.
Dominic McGuire = Shock Tarts: Need I say more?
Oleksiy Pecherov = Laffy Taffy: They give you some flavor, and they're good for a chuckle. What more could you ask for?
Darius Songaila = Twix: What? He likes things dipped in chocolate.
DeShawn Stevenson = Everlasting Gobstopper: You can try to wear them down, but you know at the end of the day that they're too durable to let something like saliva or a knee injury keep them from playing.
Etan Thomas = Gourmet Chocolate: It's a decent product, just a little more pricey than it should be.
Nick Young = Airheads: Being the youthful player that he is, Nick Young makes some decisions on the court that make you wonder what's going on in his mind. But then you remember that one day the maturity will come and then we can stop wondering about his head and we can devote all of our focus to his air.