I was listening to the Nationals-Diamondbacks game on Saturday night and somehow or another the broadcast team got to talking about Fatburger, which led to this inevitable exchange, which to the best of my recollection, went something like this:
Charlie Slowes: You know you who I saw in a Fatburger once?
Dave Jageler: No, who?
Charlie Slowes: John Williams, of the old Washington Bullets.
(Nervous giggling as they both try to avoid laughing out loud about a fat joke.)
That little exchange got me thinking about Washington's favorite overweight power forward with exceptional passing skills, so I went over to The Vault and I found this passage about Hotplate's ideal team:
A feeder turned eater, Hot Plate played just 51 games over the last three seasons before the Washington Bullets gave up on him, dispatching him to the Clippers in an October trade. He had exceeded the Bullets' expectations only in weight, and he missed the entire 1991-92 season because he was carrying too many extra pounds. Hot Plate has created a mythical team he calls the Williamsburg Williamses, a team composed entirely of his namesakes. He rattles off a mock play-by-play: "Williams dribbles down the floor and flips it to Williams, who pulls up and fires. The shot is short and grabbed by Williams, who alley-oops to Williams for the basket...."
How can you tell which Williams is which?
"It doesn't matter, as long as we win."
I could go on about where you have to be as person to imagine having a team where everyone has the same last name, but I'd rather not dwell on that. Instead, I'm going to put together a modern day version of his sick and twisted idea.
The Williamsburg Williamses
PG: Deron Williams
SG: Louis Williams (Defensively, you'd probably want to switch them around for the best result)
SF: Marvin Williams
PF: Shawne Williams
C: Sean Williams
Bench: Jason Williams, Mo Williams, Marcus Williams (both of them), Shelden Williams, Aaron Williams
In many ways, the team would be a lot like John Williams: lots of passing, impressive in some areas, and extremely underwhelming in others. At least we know that Williamsburg would have an awesome slogan.