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Maize and Blew It

(The ultimate irony of Labor Day, both Prada and I are working tomorrow. I'll be able to check real quick before I leave and then I'll be out until the late afternoon. If anything breaking news comes up, you know what the diaries are for. -Jake.)

Unless you've been stuck under a rock, you're all aware of the huge upset yesterday as Appalachian State took down overrated #5 Michigan at the Big House in a 34-32 thriller that effectively ended Michigan's season before it started. As an Ohio State fan, you can bet that I take great joy in talking about this.

Hail to the Victors! (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

The Wizards may not have anyone who went to Appalachian State, but they're still familiar with upsets. Donnell Taylor was a member of the UAB team that stunned #1 seed Kentucky in the round of 32 several years back. Gilbert Arenas shocked people when he actually played some minutes at Arizona. Nick Young threw a giant monkey wrench in everyone's brackets last March as his USC Trojans took down Kevin Durant's Texas Longhorns. Of course, none of those hold a candle to what went down in Ann Arbor yesterday, but there are still some things this team can do that would shock the world in a very Appalachian fashion. After the jump, we'll take a look at some shockers that the Wizards could pull this season.

Antawn Jamison being selected to the NBA All-Defensive First Team - I think we would all go bonkers if he even got a vote for first team. Well, make that an informed vote.

w00t! He didn't score on me that time!

Ernie Grunfeld using the final spot on the roster to sign Kyle Visser - Well, that wouldn't be as shocking as it would be just an utterly terrible decision.

Brendan Haywood averaging a double-double per game - If you believe that will happen, you might as well go for the trifecta and believe that he'll make up with Etan Thomas and Eddie Jordan while he's at it.

Etan Thomas shaving his head - Afterwards press realizes that his dreads actually made him 5 inches taller.

Eddie Jordan actually using his starters in crunch time - What? Brendan Haywood is a better option at center than Jarvis Hayes? Who knew?

Darius Songaila winning the Slam Dunk Contest - Air Lithuania?

Throw it down big man! Throw it down!

Donnell Taylor winning the 3 point shootout - I think DeShawn Stevenson would have a better shot shooting one-handed.

Gilbert Arenas signing a shoe deal with Heelys - Actually, I don't think that would shock people all that much.

Can you call traveling on that?