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Bullets Forever's Wizards holiday gift ideas

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Editor's Note: I'm not one for humor pieces, but I was in a good mood today, so here goes.  As a sidenote, this post is also partially inspired by this Give Me the Rock post.

For some of us, myself included, the holidays have already begun with Hanukah.  For others, they'll occur this Sunday with Christmas.  For even more of us, it'll occur at other points over the next week.    However, as we're celebrating the holidays, we all must remember that even basketball players who make millions of dollars a year could use a few things for the holidays.  

As such, if I were to get a gift for some members of the Washington Wizards, here's what I'd get them.

Gilbert Arenas: A portable hibachi.  It works just as well on the road as it does in your home.

Antawn Jamison: Tom Emanski's Defensive Drills Video.  It may not be basketball, but Jamison's defense is so bad that even a video like this will make him better.

Caron Butler: The banana slap game.  Instead of using his hands and not moving his feet on defense, Caron can now feed his slapping addiction in a child's game.

Brendan Haywood: DVD of "Rebound," starring Martin Lawrence.  Perhaps the title of the movie can encourage Haywood to grab more defensive boards.

Jarvis Hayes: A guide to accurate shooting.  Wizards fans probably can understand why this is self-explanatory.

Antonio Daniels: DVD of "Around the World in 80 Days."  The perfect gift for the perfect veteran journeyman.  

Eddie Jordan: Super Mario Deluxe Edition for Nintendo DS.  The game will give Eddie the chance to effectively manage a game, but more importantly, he'll be able to play against his evil twin.  

Ernie Grunfeld: "Airborne Again: The Triumph and Struggle of Michael Jordan."  For Ernie Grunfeld, having been preceeded as GM by MJ, the second part of that sentence is the operative phrase.

Any other ideas?  Put 'em in the comments section!