An inside look at the Deshawn negotiations

(Sorry for the lack of posts this week, hopefully this makes up for it.  -Jake)

[Inside a darkened Vegas room Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld (EG) and DeShawn Stevenson (DS) begin negotiations on a contract.]

DS: G, I don't think you understand me, I need this money.

EG: How on earth am I supposed to justify $25 million dollars for a guy that contributed as many points during the playoffs as Gilbert did?  Compared to you, Jarvis Hayes looked like Elvin Hayes!

[Jarvis enters in nervously]

Jarvis: Were you looking for me Ernie?

EG: No Jarvis, just hang out over in the corner until we're finished.  I'll release call for you when I'm done.

[Ernie neglects to mention they're in a circular room]

DS: Hey, how'd you do that?

EG: Do what?

DS: Put that line through the one word you said.

EG: I don't know, I'm just reading from the script.

DS: Okay...Anyways, I still don't see why you're shortchanging me, I shot 50% almost the whole year.  How well did you do shooting?

EG: Umm...

DS: (Silence)

EG: C'mon DeShawn, don't be like this.

DS: (The Sounds of Silence)

EG: What do Simon and Garfunkel have to do with this?

DS: (More silence)

EG: Okay, if you won't talk then I guess I'll just have to go to plan B.  Eddie!

Eddie Jordan: (still kind of tiffed about the whole Thibodeau thing) Yeah, what do you want?

EG: Bring in Mr. Brown.

Eddie: As you wish.

[Eddie goes back and fetches Mr. Brown, Ernie appears somewhat surprised as they walk back in.  It is evident to the audience that both Ernie and Eddie know Mr. Brown]

EG: Eddie, you idiot!

Eddie: What?

EG: I wanted Devin Brown, not Kwame Brown!

Kwame: Can we hurry this up?  I've got to work on my rehab.

[Fade to black as Kwame heads off to "rehab".]

The End.