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The Annual NBA League Pass Rankings, Part 2

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America’s Team Simmons: A.k.a. the 2015 Washington Professional Basketball Team! Guys, you had me at hello. You didn’t have to go and sign Paul Pierce. You had me at hello. Lowe: I do not endorse this nickname. I do endorse John Wall fast breaks, Bradley Beal stretching his game, Nene’s passing and angry dunks, everything about Marcin Gortat, and Paul Pierce already getting four guys suspended and nearly smushing poor Tom Thibodeau in a Pierce–Joakim Noah sandwich. DeJuan Blair and Kris Humphries were sneaky good signings, and Professor Miller, PhD, is still holding office hours down in the low post for all you suckas. Maybe this team should be higher? ...