Magical Pixels, Wizards vs. Heat: Washington bullied by defending champs

Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

For a second, it looked like Nene might play, and the Wizards hung around long enough to give fans a glimmer of hope against the Heat. But in the end, there were no surprises en route to a 103-93 loss and 0-3 start to the season.

Be honest. You knew this was coming. The Miami Heat don't lose two straight and then drop a home game to the Washington Wizards. Perhaps that's why the furor following Sunday's 103-93 loss was a bit muted compared to the postgame hysteria after the team's home opener.

Did this train wreck at least start out well?

Gah, if only doctors knew about Twitter.

Why is it doctors never have good news? Or if they do, it's soon followed by far worse bad news? Anyway, sounds like we're gonna have to go without Nene again for the third consecutive game.

WHAT THE HELL stop toying with us!! This is too much to process during pregame.

This will in no way lead to Twitter jokes.

But I thought Nene was in the lineup?

WHICH IS IT FUNNY MAN?!?!?

#Nenegate #SoWizards

Has the game started yet?

Promising...

Better grab a beer.

This surprises everyone. #noitdoesn't

^ This is a finalist for our "Things you did not hear three years ago" contest.

Could be worse. At least the end of the bench is sticking together.

Don't tease us, Kev. We can't take it. Better switch our focus to the actual future of the franchise.

Is there any light at the end of this tunnel (so I can stretch this train wreck metaphor ever further)?

Welp, that's our cue to turn off the television. Thanks for tuning in guys, it's been a blast...

Nope, can't leave after that. Glorious. I've caught a second wind.

I agree.

I stand corrected. More importantly, looks the Wiz might actually have a chance at the upset, no?

Oh no. We all know what the face means.

This raises a crucial but oft-neglected point: The lack of facial hair-related NBA analytics is a crime. It is up to the internet to correct this. Interlude over.

Yep, this seems like a good place to finally stop. Goodnight, everybody.

Damnit. Leave me be. We all know how this ends...

I wasn't able to make it to that. I'm sure it was riveting.

Looking on the bright side, hopefully the Wiz win their next game. I'll bet they're playing some patsy.

C'mon now, internet, give me something to smile about.

Yeessss. Told you guys Airwolf is the best fit alongside the Polish Hammer.

As always, check out our Storystream for coverage of Wiz-Heat, and here's some more recaps: [WaPoAPCSN WashingtonDistrict Sports PageWiz of AwesHoop DistrictWizards.comHot Hot HoopsMiami Herald | Sun Sentinel (gamercolumn) | Miami New TimesAll U Can Heat]

Here's links to game highlights, as well as postgame interviews with Randy WittmanJohn Wall and Bradley Beal.

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