When You See JaVale McGee in The Street, Call Him 'Epic Vale'

by Truth About It on Jul 11, 2009 5:28 PM EDT in The clubhouse Comment 13 comments

More photos » Manuel Balce Ceneta - AP

JaVale McGee, like many athletes, has gone through a plethora of nicknames.

Coming out of college, his mom Pamela dubbed him the 'Big Secret'. Since the cat has since been let out of the bag, that one is no more.

In October of '08, Caron Butler dubbed him 'Lemonhead' because of his skin color, smile, and youthful facial features. But that's not exactly an endearing term (of course, nicknames don't have to be endearing) ... but still, we want something that young JaVale will want to embrace.

So we come to JaVale's self-given nicknames. In November, he wrote 'Kill + Mode = Chee$e' on his shoes. This spawned a t-shirt from Mr.Irrelevant, and more recently, a @KMCheese34 Twitter account. But this is more like a motto, or a saying, or a mantra, rather than a nickname.

Big Daddy Wookie is the moniker McGee has given himself on YouTube and Twitter. But as nickname etiquette dictates, you can't give yourself one.

Nor will we call the musically inclined McGee 'J-Mac' -- his producer title over on Reverb Nation. Too generic, too easy.

Personally, with his flight patterns and helicopter arms, I've tried to dub McGee as 'The Choppa' ... with perhaps The Governator serving as his hype man one day. But that's rather 'meh' compared to ...

EPIC VALE

First given to McGee but the distinguished Canadian, J.E. Skeets of Yahoo's Ball Don't Lie, Epic Vale seems to fit best.

It uses his name, describes his potential, and is a play off the the culturally relevant phrase, 'Epic Fail' which is the antithesis of what all Wizards fans hope JaVale can be.

The problem being, JaVale McGee doesn't know his own nickname.

When such was suggested to him via Twitter, he responded:

@Truth_About_It lol the only people who call me epic vale is u lol.....no one has ever seen me n was like awwww there's epic vale lol

So, my friends ... people of Wizards Nation, the Bullets Forever community, members of the media who may read this blog, and casual passby ... this is a call for action.

When you see JaVale McGee on the street, on his profile on the Twitter machine ... or wherever, make sure you call him ...

Epic Vale.

UPDATE: Seems like JaVale McGee does not want to be called 'Epic Vale' -- we will see ...

Javale-mcgee-volkswagen_medium

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J Force One?

How about J Force One or Vale Force One. This is the nations capitol and he can fly. As a bonus the president might like it.

by forthepeople on Jul 11, 2009 7:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I can't believe

he still drives a bug. Does he think he’s Darrell Green?

by CJHutch on Jul 11, 2009 9:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Vale Force

wordplay on Gale Force…

by khrabb on Jul 12, 2009 8:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Personally I like Big Daddy Wookie

The BDW. Not sure if we know the full story on how he landed the name though. And you better argue with the Big Aristotle Shaq Fu Shaq Diesel if you think a big guy’s got to ask permission to tell you what his name is.

Difference is right now he hasn’t earned much of a nickname one way or the other, ain’t made a name for himself figuratively or otherwise, so I’ve just been calling him the JV kid.

But if he starts dominating in games he can be Big Daddy whatever-he-wants. Daddy Longstroke. King Wook. Wook Daddy Longstockings. But so for, not even a haiku much less and epic nothin’.

by doclinkin on Jul 12, 2009 10:13 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Sorry, my brother in blogdom

but I gotta agree with JaVale on this one… Epic Vale is just too esoteric.

On the other hand, his chosen moniker (J-Mac) is just plain boring. I mean, how many D-Mac’s, K-Mart’s, AJ’s, D-Wade’s, J-Kidd’s, and T-Mac’s do we need in the League? How exciting is it to use the player’s initials and their number (CP3, AK47, CB4, etc…)? It just lacks imagination and zing.

What ever happened to clever nicknames like “The Answer”, “Flash”, “Shaq Daddy”, “Hondo”, “The Dream”, “Agent Zero”, “The Glove”, “The Big Diesel”, “The Mailman”, “Black Mamba”, “Spud”, “Tough Juice”, “Chocolate Thunder”, “Magic”, “Clyde the Glide”, and “The Worm” ?

Bullets Forever - where "Dagger ! " happens......

by Rook6980 on Jul 12, 2009 1:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

like I said (the post above you)

He hasn’t earned a nickname yet. When he does he can call hisself whatever he wants, but right now he has a few highlights and a season on the bench. And a few corny video productions.

He’s one of the ‘Java, jrs.’ (with Critt). Which one? He’s the Jammin Java.

Given his video cheesiness and the KillmodeCheese moniker, you may as well call him ‘McCheese’ for now. Mayor McCheese. I’m still waiting on the day when we can reliably call Dray Blatche: ’Proof, or Bulletproof. So far no kevlar in his game, not ironclad reliable.

The JV kid will make his own name soon enough.

But Epic Vale, nah, kinda weak.

by doclinkin on Jul 12, 2009 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

or

“The Big Dipper”, the “IceMan”, the “Human Highlight Film”, “The Worm”, “The Admiral” etc, etc. Of course, there are 3 nicknames that are so engrained into us that we almost forget that they are actually nicknames – “Air Jordan”, “Magic”, and “Dr. J”.

As for JaVale, I think they should come up with something to incorporate that salute he started doing at the Obama game. Like Captain or Major something. Or just use the obvious adjectives for his body like Stretch, Gumby, or Mr. Fantastic. Maybe he should consult the king of nicknames – “Chocolate Thunder.”

by CJHutch on Jul 12, 2009 6:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs