The Seven Stages of Grief and the 2009-2010 Washington Wizards
by MR on Dec 30, 2009 4:59 AM EST
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PrintEditor's Note: Bumped. -MP
I'm not referring to Abe. We all felt that loss and expressed our respect and honor.
The grief I'm now talking about is over the rest of the team.
Here is what you can expect to go through:
1 - Shock or Disbelief
2 - Denial
3 - Bargaining
4 - Guilt
5 - Anger
6 - Depression
7 - Acceptance and Hope
There are some of you out there who are still in stage 1, "Shock or Disbelief", but very few. If that is you then you should get moving. You have a long way to go.
Some of you are in stage 2, "Denial". Don't tell me you are not because that just proves the point.
If you are in stage 3 ("Bargaining") or stage 4 ("Guilt") then you should really move on down the list. It isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do about it. Unless your name is Ernie, Flip, Gilbert, Caron etc. Then stage 3 or 4 is really the right place for you.
Most of you are clearly in stage 5, "Anger". If your posts include any all-caps then this is you. If your pie chart of blame added up to more than 100% this is you too. Hopefully you'll come out of it soon. Sounds like a bad place to be. I think a lot of the "blow it up" crowd is stuck here, since there seems more of a tendency to want to destroy than actually build something. I don't blame them, but really I don't think it's healthy in the long run.
CJHutch has moved on to stage 6, "Depression". Also a bad place, but it seems to be working for him. I'm jealous.
Stage 7 is "Acceptance and Hope". Is anyone on this site there yet? No. But it is my New Year's wish that by the trade deadline some of the advanced members of this BF community will have reason to start getting to this point.
Feel free to tell us all what stage you are experiencing. It's therapeutic.
This represents the view of the user who wrote the FanPost, and not the entire Bullets Forever community. We're a place of many opinions, not just one.
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I believe I moved from anger to depression last night
Is #7 really “acceptance and hope” and not just “acceptance”?
I didn’t realize that there was any hope involved, cause I got none. Of course, that’s probably just my depression.
I believe it should be eight stages
Between stages 3 and 4 should be a new stage: “Trading lottery picks for veteran journeymen.”
You can nest 7 stages in there just for that trade, can't you?
Franchises almost always make one more “We’re trying to tweak things for our run” deal before they recognize the inevitable.
"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."
I'm all over the place
One day I’m in denial (they’ll turn it around this game, we’re playing Minn.,Memphis,Sacremento, etc….)
On another day I’m depressed (How can I relive the 90’s and early 00’s)
Some days I’m just plain angry (Even Gil is getting some scorn and he’s got a built in excuse, bad knee and all)
The worst for me is that I’ve actually NOT watched some of these last games! That is something I haven’t done before!
No matter how bad I’ve always watched….I now know what a Redskin fan feels like!!!!!
Same here
I’m stuck in 4-6, I feel guilty that it’s my fault they’re losing b/c I bought season tix this year and last, should I give them up so that they’ll at least be a .500 team again? Anger or Depression manifests itself depending on how the game develops that night (and/or how much beer I drink during and after)
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk - Tuco
by ravoriobulleterpitals on Dec 30, 2009 11:00 AM EST up reply actions
That's me too
Although I maybe in stage 6 permanently soon!
"Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home." --- Daffy Duck
by George Templeton on Dec 30, 2009 1:16 PM EST up reply actions
Come on folks let's have a bit of perspective here
They’re a sports team, whose purpose is to entertain. If they don’t, I tune out. I’ve personally been through entirely too much to get caught up in the performance of a sports franchise.
Yet you're still posting on here
I think it’s safe to say that if you’re taking the time to post on here, this team matters to you on some level as well, and since this is a site exclusively about the Washington Wizards, it’s safe to say that people only speak about them in these terms because of the setting.
You know you'll get devoured by Cheaney, Wallace, and Juwan Howard.
Yeah I care, yes I'm a wiz fan,
but grief? C’mon! LMAO!
Maybe it is a matter of setting, in fact, it has to be… But then again, I know people who really roller coaster based on their fav team’s performance. So maybe it isn’t… And based on the setting, it would seem natural to me that this site would attract the die-hards.
I visit the site, first and foremost because the content is great (big thumbs up to you, jake and bwoods on that!) and secondly because I’m a fan of the wiz, but I’m moreso a fan of the game of basketball who likes the hometown team than a die-hard. I just can’t see any purpose to get so emotionally attached to be driven to anger, sadness, depression, etc. If these are simply amplifications due to context/setting, then forgive me…
No need for forgiveness...
I responded because I thought the original post was hilarious and was trying to add my humor to it! Maybe it just wasn’t that funny……
by WhiteBoy-4-3 on Dec 30, 2009 9:55 AM EST up reply actions
And by the way
I’m one of the few that tuned in for just about every game last year. I celebrate the wiz success, I just can’t find it in me to bemoan losses, bad seasons, etc.
Now Jamison’s nonexistent defense? That makes the blood boil a pinch LOL!
I understand what you're saying
And I agree that it’s all a matter of perspective. But knowing how MR writes (he’s a longtime member here), I think he/she means grief only in the sports fan sense, not the real-life grief sense.
You know you'll get devoured by Cheaney, Wallace, and Juwan Howard.
Yes, please don't worry about me
I know it’s sports.
By the way, I recently left stage 2.
by MR on Dec 30, 2009 1:47 PM EST up reply actions
Of course it's only a sports team...
….I guess there is real life and then there is sports fans life. I think most of us know the difference, some of us may not… but it’s still fun to vent your frustations! The moment it becomes more important than real life I’ll have to stop watching…but if they don’t start playing like a team that cares I may not watch anyway! Nah, I’ll still watch…
by WhiteBoy-4-3 on Dec 30, 2009 9:42 AM EST up reply actions
Everything will change once mike miller comes back
Also known as “stage 2”
by sierradave on Dec 30, 2009 10:26 AM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Stage 5/6-
I alternate between the two. Getting to 7 – may take a while.
Fantastic, hilarious post.
I am definitely Depressed. I just feel like I had such high hopes for this season, and the reality is so different. I mean, it doesn’t affect the rest of my life or anything, but it’s kind of sad not having anything to look forward to, in terms of my team. That is just depressing.
Relapsing
Everytime I make progress on my Bullets/Wizards rehab they play another game! I think me and Flip feel about the same!
I wrote / recorded a rap song called yester day after work called "Blow It Up"
What stage does that put me in?
I’d share if I knew how to upload audio.
shine like bald head, smoke trees call me log head
Send it to me and I'll upload it
You know you'll get devoured by Cheaney, Wallace, and Juwan Howard.
Well shit, I'm only between stages 1 & 2
And really moving toward #3 with doses of 5 & 6.
Representing DC with Wizards & Stuff - Truth About It.net and Bullets Forever.
I'm between the Anger and Depression stages
It’s called the “Sarcasm” stage….
Probably my normal mode of operation…
Bullets Forever - where "Dagger ! " happens......
I'm definitely on Stage 5
The last three games I’ve just been cursing at the players and team through my TV, which I’ve never ever done for any sports or team before.
At first I was slightly disturbed at my new attitude, but now I kind of like it….This team flat out sucks.
I'm definitely stage 6
I’ve moved on from being angry about how bad we are and have accepted it . . . but I’m not really hopeful.
In reality I think that we all just had a brief stop at stage 7 during the off season and beginning of this season. Being a fan of Les Bullets is a permanent sentence to traversing the stages of grief and we are all so battered that I think we were just desperately trying to convince ourselves that we had real hope when it was really just the final stage of grief from the last go round.
The question is- which stage is Ernie Grunfeld at?
Hopefully anything but 2 (denial- which is apparently where mgmt has been ever since they decided to build this team around the big 3).
But what I’d really like to see is some anger from Ernie. I mean, really go Transylvanian on someone’s a$$ and spill some serious blood. The calm, poker-faced Ernie was cool for a while, but I don’t think you can NOT be angry and do what’s right for this team.
by goober nackulum on Dec 30, 2009 1:21 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
What stage was he at
when he traded the #5 this last offseason?
"It has come to the editor’s attention that the Herald-Leader neglected to cover the civil rights movement. We regret the omission."
I'm all over the place
Shocked that our record is so crappy, despite having our key players back…denying that Gilbert’s problems are physical instead of psychological…wanting to bargain Butler or Jamison for something that could right this ship…feeling guilty because this team has been bad for about as long as I’ve be alive…angry that they don’t rebound and can’t play basic defense…depressed that I believed that this team could actually make it to the Eastern Conference…hoping that they don’t trade away any picks this year.
I'm with Flip - ANGER
but part of my anger has been that Flip didn’t seem angry until recently. I hope to god he messes with line-ups and playing time. What is there to lose? If he doesn’t, I will move to stage 5.5 – SUPER PISSED
"how ironic - you came here with a mouse in a bottle, now YOU are the mouse in the bottle" - B.M. Smith
by little stevie colter on Dec 30, 2009 3:49 PM EST reply actions
I don't think
I’m depressed. Maybe a bit melancholy, but that’s just because I had high hopes for our young guys. I think I’m closer to 7, but I think acceptance and hope should be split. I have accepted that this just simply is not a good team, and never will be with its current makeup. I will continue to watch them, and root for them, just with no expectations.
Acceptance...
but no hope for improvement. I think the team is stuck until the new owners show up.
I hope I am not being macabre about this
But what is the timeline for new owners to come in. The deal was that Leonsis has the right of first refusal and he already is part owner of the team as it is. I ask because the trade deadline is not that far away and some decisions need to be made about this team going forward.
"Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home." --- Daffy Duck
by George Templeton on Dec 31, 2009 11:07 AM EST up reply actions
Denial and Acceptance
In the minutes leading up to the start of games (“This could be the game we turn it around”), during the games when they make runs and then let the other team come back and make a bigger run (“See, if Gilbert did’nt take that quick 3 we would be in good shape”) and everytime I think about Mike Miller returning (“Mike will fix all of our ball movement problems”) I’m in denial. But then when the game is over and they lose, whether it be by blowout or heartbreaker, I just accept it and wonder why I ever expected them to win the game anyway.
Short term denial and long term acceptance
I still could see Miller returning and the team making the playoffs this year, which is worth something.
But, for the long term, I think I’ve come to accept fully that this team as constructed will not compete at the highest levels. I’m ready for Caron and (if they get enough in return) Haywood to be traded. I’d be inclined to keep Jamison except I’m not sure he would tolerate being around the word “rebuild” or even “reload”. I think they have to keep Arenas (even if he’s tradeable) because if he can even remotely return to form he’s a top-2 player on a good team and those are awfully hard to come by.
mostly denial and anger
i grant you we’re not a championship caliber team. that’s been obvious for a while. but i flat out deny that we’re this bad. we have a long track record of relative success through lots of adversity.
the short term wrench in the plans is flip. maybe it’ll be work out in the long term. but i’m bitter ‘cause i liked our players and our team. this squad will never perform to its peak abilities under saunders’s approach.
ernie paid flip, so now ernie’s gonna have to get us a new squad. i’m so looking forward to that plodding minnesota offense flip used to run. they were boring even when they had cassell and spreewell. you wouldn’t think that possible but hey that’s flip. can’t wait to see the reincarnation of trenton hassell running deliberate half court sets. might have to find a new team. thanks ernie! you took the fun out of F street. i’m sure randy wittman is just a joy to play for.
i’m also pissed at boswell, way to swoop in there and throw the franchise under the bus. pretty obvious you’re not a wizards fan. basically accusing our players of having no heart. only a non-fan would write that crap. furthermore, i sincerely doubt the guys are ever gonna be scared of flip. that’s the exact opposite of his track record.
by DarrellWalkerFan on Dec 31, 2009 11:32 AM EST reply actions
i guess i've moved on to some extent
but the hand has been forced. a small part of me won’t quit and wants to have some hope for this year still, but realistically, you’ve got to part ways with ernie now (sidebar:
unless he has written evidence documenting his stance against all the moves they’ve made in the last 3 years, signed in triplicate by him, mr. pollin and at least one witness, that pollin was calling the shots, not ernie.
end sidebar)
anyway, like i was saying, you’ve got to can ernie and blow this up and rebuild through the draft. last night’s game against the cavs was the end of an era for this franchise. this is ernie’s team entirely and it’s a debacle.
of course, i feel badly for ernie ‘cause i didn’t see this coming either, not to this degree.
by DarrellWalkerFan on Jan 7, 2010 4:54 PM EST up reply actions
stages
There is reason for hope … sooner or later, Ted Leonsis will be calling the shots and, based on his track record, the status quo won’t do. Ernie will go and we must hope that intelligent drafting and young talent will make the team worth watching again. I was at the Thunder game and would happily have swapped rosters with that group.
damnit gil.
abe just rolled over. i was hoping the team could rally around the passing of a great owner maybe win a playoff series, however gil’s gun problem might be the exact opposite. i hope this passes relatively smoothly and gil doesn’t get suspended for the season or something like that. what is crittenton doing, he looks like spider from aqua teen hungerforce when he dribbles. i am firing my therapist, thats what stage im in, If gil get suspended.
I'm between 2, 5, and 6
I’m in denial that the wizards are having such a rough start but keep telling my self that things will get better once the team adjusts to the offense and learns how to play defense consistently. I’m also going back and forth between denial, anger, and depression about Gil’s disappointing extra curricular activities. Still given his personality I can’t say I’m terribly surprised. Shouldn’t you be extra careful about laws especially in your team’s city when your a public figure there? Not to preach but know your laws Gil! Now that I have worked my way through 2 & 6 for the most part I am nearing depression with the team and Gil’s situation. There’s important questions to be answered after we learn the fate of Gil and its so uncertain if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
by purpleonblack86 on Jan 4, 2010 10:38 PM EST reply actions
Pretty sure-
I’m not reaching acceptance and hope this season.
HOPE
As in I hope they scrap the whole team and start over.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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