Happy Small Sample Size Day!

by bwoodsxyz on Oct 28, 2009 11:59 AM EDT

Of course one of the worst abuses of stats in sports is to draw unwarranted conclusions based on too small sample sizes. Except when your team wins its opening game. That, of course, is the BEST. So, without further ado, we can conclude based on last night that:

Arenas will shoot almost 50% from the field with a 3:1 assists to turnover ratio while drawing 7 fouls per game.
Arenas will average 38 minutes per, which is actually still a reduction from his last three healthy seasons.
Arenas will keep daring his man to shoot the three, but that's fine because his opponents will collectively go 0 for 246 from three.
Foye will break some sort of record by managing to post only 1.2 assists per 36 while both serving as the primary backup PG and SG.
But that's ok, because Foye will also post 19 points per on 56% shooting and hold the opposition to just over 30% shooting.
That still won't be enough to win the 6th Man award over 7 Day Dray and his 30.8 PER.
Of course, Dray's 30.8 PER actually leaves him significantly underrated. Better to pay attention to his 24.6 Win Shares, good enough for the third best season ever, behind one from Kareem and one from Wilt.
Dom McGuire. A -23.9 PER (yes, that is a negative sign) and an #undefined#!# offensive rating.
Our perimeter players will grab as many boards as opposing frontcourts.
No one will shoot on Vale. No, seriously, no shots at all. Ok, so it would be more impressive if he actually averaged a whole minute per game.
83% from the line. Who needs Hopla?
Mike Miller will be the Most Efficient Player Ever: an offensive rating of 158 and a defensive rating of 86.
Miller and Blatche will both have more assists and create more turnovers than they will commit turnovers. Of course, it is easy because they won't actually commit any turnovers despite averaging a combined 57 minutes.
Oberto will post a +31 per 36 minutes despite averaging 10.6 fouls per 36 and a shocking 45% turnover percentage. How? It must be the little things and the perfect shooting. Anyway, who are you to question the magic of Fabricio "The Plus" Oberto?
Your Washington Wizards will finish 5 in the league in defensive rating! (out of 8 teams, but still....that's just slightly below average!)
And, of course, saving best for last: Wiz = 82-0

Oh, wait, one more thing: Cleveland = 0-82

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And Flip will be named Coach of the Year.

by Izman on Oct 28, 2009 12:15 PM EDT reply actions

On that note

Gilbert Arenas will be awarded comeback player of the year award even though it doesn’t actually exist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laydODN6xVk

by hibachi on Oct 28, 2009 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions

And MVP

Limp and dangling.

by Joe Flaccid on Oct 28, 2009 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions

"M-V-P! M-V-P!"

Of course, I had to watch the TNT double-header, and I couldn’t help but hate Cavs and Lakers fans for chanting “M-V-P!” within the first couple of minutes of game 1.

Anyone going to be chanting with me on Saturday night? …. for Deshawn? Whatever will get Cavs fans mad. Whenever we play the Cavs, I want Deshawn to DOMINATE.

My swag was phenomenal.

by se7en on Oct 28, 2009 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions

Is there a formula to determine who will get the #1 seed between the 82-0 Celtics and the 82-0 Wiz? Or can we just have a one game playoff?

by bronco6778 on Oct 28, 2009 12:46 PM EDT reply actions

the Celtics will be 78-4 silly

by DaGribb on Oct 28, 2009 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions

I wouldn't go

so far as 82-0, but I DO believe we can still call a less than 20 game loss total a success. I mean, I KNOW this article is tongue in cheek, but there is some validity hidden within the sarcasm. And one point not noted was the fact that we went into the den of a LEGIT playoff team (from the West no less), on opening night, and beat them. Not only that, but we took the lead and HELD it, rather than crumpling like the non finishers this team has been the past few years. Sure it’s just one game. But it’s a game THIS SEASON played by the players on our current roster. Which means it’s a much better measuring stick to use than the old “same old Wizards” mantra.

by CJHutch on Oct 28, 2009 1:02 PM EDT reply actions