(Again, not a real story...but still thought provoking...maybe. -Jake)
WASHINGTON D.C. - Wizards 1st round draft choice Nick Young announced today that he is officially changing his name to Nick Mature. Mature made the name switch in order to help break down some of stigmas surrounding him as a rookie.
"It made sense for me to make this move" said Mature at a press conference held at the Verizon Center earlier this morning. He went on to explain that with all the pressure surrounding him coming in as a rookie, the last thing that he needed was a last name that would be an easy play on words for journalists, bloggers, and the rest of the local media. "Not to mention my teammates" he also added "Gilbert and DeShawn would have a field day knowing that the youngest player on the team had the last name of Young."
To further drive home the point that Mature is trying to live up to his new last name, he announced that he will not accept any invites to play in Sprite Slam Dunk Contest or the T-Mobile Rookie Challenge. Furthermore, he said that he will not engage in the youthful activities of some of the other players in the NBA, such as: soliciting cops, getting tonsillitis, or becoming so weak that he can't bench 185 pounds.
When reached for comment, Wizards' star Gilbert Arenas stated "I'm his landlord, I'll call him whatever I please."