An inside look at the Deshawn negotiations

(Sorry for the lack of posts this week, hopefully this makes up for it.  -Jake)

[Inside a darkened Vegas room Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld (EG) and DeShawn Stevenson (DS) begin negotiations on a contract.]

DS: G, I don't think you understand me, I need this money.

EG: How on earth am I supposed to justify $25 million dollars for a guy that contributed as many points during the playoffs as Gilbert did?  Compared to you, Jarvis Hayes looked like Elvin Hayes!

[Jarvis enters in nervously]

Jarvis: Were you looking for me Ernie?

EG: No Jarvis, just hang out over in the corner until we're finished.  I'll release call for you when I'm done.

[Ernie neglects to mention they're in a circular room]

DS: Hey, how'd you do that?

EG: Do what?

DS: Put that line through the one word you said.

EG: I don't know, I'm just reading from the script.

DS: Okay...Anyways, I still don't see why you're shortchanging me, I shot 50% almost the whole year.  How well did you do shooting?

EG: Umm...

DS: (Silence)

EG: C'mon DeShawn, don't be like this.

DS: (The Sounds of Silence)

EG: What do Simon and Garfunkel have to do with this?

DS: (More silence)

EG: Okay, if you won't talk then I guess I'll just have to go to plan B.  Eddie!

Eddie Jordan: (still kind of tiffed about the whole Thibodeau thing) Yeah, what do you want?

EG: Bring in Mr. Brown.

Eddie: As you wish.

[Eddie goes back and fetches Mr. Brown, Ernie appears somewhat surprised as they walk back in.  It is evident to the audience that both Ernie and Eddie know Mr. Brown]

EG: Eddie, you idiot!

Eddie: What?

EG: I wanted Devin Brown, not Kwame Brown!

Kwame: Can we hurry this up?  I've got to work on my rehab.

[Fade to black as Kwame heads off to "rehab".]

The End.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bullets Forever

You must be a member of Bullets Forever to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bullets Forever. You should read them.

Join Bullets Forever

You must be a member of Bullets Forever to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bullets Forever. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker